{Leaf and Bark Rubbing, December 10, 2010}
I vividly remember the last time I went on a school field trip. I was 8 months pregnant and riding on a big yellow bus to the Palms Hotel. (we only do high class field trips here in sin city). I was big, uncomfortable and in charge of 23 8-9 year olds. We were taking them to see the Polar Express at the only theater in town with an 11 am showing - The Palms. If you have ever had the privilege of watching MTV or any other classy reality show, you know this is a very family friendly place.
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I remember sitting on the bus with my back to the window. My legs were stretched out on the bus seat and I was trying to ignore the screaming children and the smell of bus fumes. All I kept thinking was, " What the he*l am I doing here?" (yes,sometimes I swear in my mind, and lets face it - out loud) I was done.
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We saw the movie, none of the children got lost or drunk, and we made our way back on the bus. Success. Until one of the kids read a billboard on the freeway and asked me what Jello Wrestling was. At that moment, I was really done. I reached into my book bag, pulled out my bible, and swore on it...No more field trips for me. No more teaching once this baby came out. I wanted out. I wanted to be a full-time mom.
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Today I had to go back on my promise. I went on another field trip. I'll have to admit I was having second thoughts after I wrote the teacher a little note telling her I would love to accompany them on their "walking field trip." However, I was willing to break my promise to myself so I could spend time with Thomas.
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The field trip was fun. We walked to the park, fed overly zealous ducks and geese, and went on a nature scavenger hunt. I helped the kids dodge horse, dog, duck, peacock and goose poop, kept them from swimming in the slimy pond and zipped up a few jackets. I was having a good time - go figure. I even chuckled to myself as I watched the teacher count the kids several times to make sure everyone was there, only to count them again - just to be on the safe side. It was at that moment I remembered the feeling, the stress of being in charge of so many little bodies and making sure nobody was misplaced.
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As that memory was beginning to take over my body, I grabbed my son's hand and gave it a little squeeze. The warmth of his hand brought me back to present time. Don't get me wrong, I loved being a teacher. I had wonderful students, an incredible team teacher who taught me so much, and co-workers I enjoyed spending time with. I was a good teacher who loved the kids, and loved spending time with them (until I had gained 40 lbs and was trying to come up with an appropriate answer to the jello wrestling question). But I enjoy the time as a stay at home mom so much more. I am SO grateful for Steve. He works hard so I won't have to be in charge of field trips anymore. Maybe one day when the kids are much older I'll have the desire to go back. Until then, I get to be a full-time mom and I only have to ride on a bus if I want to. And you can bet your Lucky Charms If Thomas or Clara want me on that bus, I'll be there.
