Just so you know...

-It is not a good idea to store your daughters binkie in your cleavage on a plane when you are sitting next to a perfect stranger who happens to be male.

-Just because your 2-year-old loved the beach and the sand last time you went to the coast doesn't mean she will like it now.

-If our family plans a vacation you can guarantee that someone will be sick. In a matter of a week and a half each member of our family had at least 1 of the following... fever, runny nose, coughs, laryngitis, and pink eye.

-It is possible to be seen by a doctor in a small beach town in 28 minutes. This includes new patient paperwork, chatting with the doctor and faxing a prescription.

-I offered to clean the waiting room toys after my pink-eye infected daughter played with each one.

-If you are trying to bring 6 lbs of Washington Raspberries on a plane you must follow these simple steps.

1. Place berries in 2 9 x13 Tupperware containers.
2. Wrap each one in cellophane. Lots and lots of cellophane.
3. Make sure the Tupperware will not pop open during flight by wrapping each one in strapping tape. A lot of strapping tape.
4. Place the containers in a space bag and seal. There is no need to suck out all the air, just seal. 5. Place containers wrapped in cellophane, taped and space bagged into a shopping bag.
6. Pray that you will be able to get through security without any questions because the airport is SUPER BUSY and they are just trying to get people through security.

-It really really really stinks (language changed to protect innocent eyes that read my blog) to break your camera on vacation.

-10 days isn't long enough, but yet it is. Weird.

-Thomas was on vacation with us too, but decided to spend every waking minute with his grandparents. I feel like I haven't seen him for 10 days.

- For some odd reason I was excited when the man sitting next to me and Clara on the airplane had an American Kennel Club tag on his carry-on and pulled out a judges book. While he was sleeping I had pretend conversations with him about Buck Laughlin and Cookie and Gerry Fleck. Instead, when he woke up we had a nice conversation about poodles.

- All my suitcases are in the entryway waiting to be unpacked. I am avoiding the entry.

...and don't let the door hit ya!

Dear Fish,

You may be wondering right about now where the heck you are. Figure it out. You did this you yourself. You are the one who couldn't keep your bowl clean. You are the one who smelled. You are the one who liked to poop as we walked by.

We found you a new home. I was able to convince some friends that you were a good thing. (typed as I twist my black handlebar mustache). We shall see how long you last.

Good Riddance,

Your former family

I wanna know who said Wheaties is the breakfast cereal of champions.

Because I would have to disagree. Not even respectfully.

When I was growing up we would take our vacations to my Grandma and Grandpa's house in Southern California. It was always so much fun. All my cousins lived there and we would play in Grandma's pool for hours. After we got out of the pool we would either walk down to Donut Man or watch Innerspace using Grandpa's GINORMOUS magnifying glass. Why, you might ask? Because that was the only VHS they had that was entertaining.

Besides the swimming and the awesome movie collection, we could always count on one thing. They had Golden Grahams. My mom never bought sugar cereal - unless it was on sale and she had a coupon she could use at Vons on the double-day. Now, I wouldn't say that Golden Grahams is a sugar SUGAR cereal, but it sure beat Total. Our family would ration that box. It had to last 3 days between 3 kids, and that's only if the cousins didn't spend the night and sleep in the organ room (thats a musical instrument, not a room where they kept a bunch of body parts in jars with formaldehyde). You can bet your pants that we tried to convince any extra kids that Grape Nuts were way better than GG.

As you all know, one of the perks of being an adult is getting to pick the cereal. Double G is always in the house, usually several boxes. That's just how we roll around here. But lately we have seen a trend developing. We are blowing through boxes. We are on our 5th box in 4 weeks. That may not sound fast to other families, but our family is small. Our children are small. Steve and I have cereal maybe twice a week. It's the little people doing all the damage. I am even going to go out on a limb and say it's mainly the female child. She has an addiction.

And it must be eaten a certain way...

Pour cereal in bowl -- Pour milk on cereal -- Let milk soak in until cereal is disgustingly soggy --Hand bowl to child with spoon -- Child will use spoon for a couple bites -- Child resorts to hands. Both of them -- Repeat every 4-5 hours.

Can't say I blame her. I've been there myself.

It's Howdy Doody Time!

Clara has a thing for babies right now. That should come as no surprise to anyone who has a little girl. She is obsessed with them. Real babies. Play babies. Pretend babies. ANYTHING that can be held in her arms becomes a baby. The other afternoon I was watching her play with her baby and I took some shots. I meant to post them, but I have been too stinking busy lately. I figured I would get to it eventually. Then the following happened and I was glad I hadn't posted them yet.

Friday morning I had to go shoot a wedding so I dropped the kids off at Grandma's house. When I came back to pick the kids up Clara was playing with a baby...big surprise. She had her baby laying down on a pillow with a washcloth covering just the torso of the baby to keep it warm. From what I was told, the baby had already been fed and had a poopy diaper that was really stinky. She was in the mothering mode. Of THIS....

these pictures are horrible. I was all shot out and didn't take the time to adjust settings

This is my Dad's old Howdy Doody marionette. You know, because my dad was a ventriloquist - just like he was a spy, leprechaun wrangler and an Olympic skier (he liked to tease me too much and I believed him too much). This is the same doll that my brothers and I always wanted to play with. The same one that we were never allowed to touch or else we would get a knuckle sandwich (not really, but he liked to use that term). The same doll my Mom would defend with her life and not let us play with when Dad wasn't home even though he would never know.

My, how things have changed.

Grandma (meaning - gives into any request as long as they are offspring of her own children she said no to so many times). Happily pulled old Mr. Doody out of the glass cabinet because Clara kept on saying, "baby" and pointing to the odd looking doll. She had such a good time with the baby. She kept kissing it and whispering to it and being the perfect little mother.

She has no idea how lucky she is. She had no idea of how jealous I was.