Our First Pet

Thomas really wants a pet. He knows he can't have a dog or cat because Dad is allergic to animals, and mom is allergic to high maintenance. He is pretty understanding about being denied this childhood rite of passage, so he has improvised.

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I would like to introduce Brodge (Thomas named him, therefore your guess is as good as mine as to where the name came from), our praying mantis. Daddy and Thomas caught him a week and a half ago outside of church and he has been gracing our counter top ever since. I keep asking him if he wants to let Brodge go and see his family. He keeps answering "No, Mom. Brodge is our pet!" I have been secretly plotting as to when I am going to accidentally open the jar outside and set him free, but just haven't done it yet.

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This morning, we went out to the orchard to pick tomatoes and zucchini. While we were walking through all the tomato plants, a bunny scurried out from under the brush. Thomas was so excited and wanted to know how we could catch it. He told me, "when we catch it, we can put it in a jar and keep it on the counter top next to Brodge!"

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I decided that maybe a praying mantis isn't so bad. I don't think I would do too well with a bunny trapped in a jar on our counter top. Plus, I don't want PETA to come after us.

Wouldn't you want to come home to this?

Today has been one of those days. I was standing in the kitchen getting dinner ready when I looked up and realized what a pig-pen we were living in. Do you ever have those moments when you think...Holy Mess, Batman! What happened in here?

I try to have things picked up before Steve gets home from work, but today it didn't happen. So what do I do instead of clean it up? Blog it, the modern woman's form of procrastination.

1. The vacuum is out, but never got used because as you can see, it would have just sucked up a bunch of mega-blocks. Then I would have had to deal with a crying 3 year old and had to explain to Steve why we need a new vacuum.

2. Laundry. This is how I spent most of the day. This is one load that hasn't made it to the baskets to spend the next 3 days sitting at the top of the stairs, waiting to be put away.

3. Clara's clothes. Usually you can find either kids' clothes on the family room floor in our house. For some reason my kids like to run around in a diaper / underwear. They get dressed everyday, but usually end up partly naked before 3:00 pm.

4. Toys on the floor. Not my fault, I didn't play with them.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has days like this!

Tagged by Robyn

My friend Robyn tagged me, so here it goes.

10 Years Ago I:
1. was still in my early 20's
2. was working on my BS in elementary education.
3. was working as a substitute teacher.
4. was having so much fun with friends in college.
5. was traveling.
6. drove a navy blue Ford Taurus.
7. loved my flip-cell phone the size of a large baked potato.
8. going to see tons of musicals here, in LA, and NY.
9. was too skinny and had too much hair.
10. was wondering if I was every going to break free of the singles ward scene.

5 things on my "to do" list:
1. Finish organizing my sewing / exercise room
2. Burn all my pictures on to CD
3. Start making all my Christmas gifts
4. Take my sewing machine to the sewing shop for a check-up (I don’t want to part with it, so I have been procrastinating it.)
5. Spend today lounging around with hubby and kids while eating a ton of junk food and watching conference.

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Popcorn with brown sugar sprinkled on it
2. Fiber one bars
3. Dry Cereal
4. A Diet Cherry Coke from sonic with extra ice (that counts as a snack, doesn’t it?)
5. Red Grapes

5 jobs I've had:
1. Mom / Wife
2. Teacher
3. Bank Teller
4. Secretary for a medical company
5. Disney Store “Cast Member” (puke)

5 places I've lived:
1. Las Vegas
2. Las Vegas
3. Las Vegas
4. Las Vegas
5. Las Vegas


5 things I'd do if I won a million:
1. Say “One-Million Dollars” with my pinky next to my lips just like Dr. Evil.
2. Buy a nice RV and spend the next year traveling with the family .
3. I would say put it in savings, but who knows if it would be there down the road.
4. Find a way to make it pay us an allowance for the rest of our lives.
5. Buy a house that doesn’t have stairs so I don’t have to look at traffic marks every time I walk up.

5 things that made me laugh this week:
1. Steve.
2. Thomas’s horrible knock-knock jokes that make no sense. (Anyone who reads this, PLEASE comment with a knock-knock joke I can teach Thomas. The poor kid needs some material and I can only think of 2! Please don't send any like Grandma Shirley started to teach him...

Knock-knock
Who's there?
Tom
Tom who?
Tom As*

As soon as she said the punchline she realized what she was saying. Sorry, Mom. I had to document the one and only time I have EVER heard you use profanity [even if it was unintentionally] for posterity.)

3. Clara handing me about 20 diaper disposal bags every time I lay her down on her changing table. She thinks it’s a game that we MUST play at every diaper change.
4. My horrible guitar-hero skillz. (I think it was more of an embarrassed laughter)
5. Bonnie Hunt - I love her new show. I think her demographic is intended to be old women, but I think she’s a kick-in-the-pants.

A perfect 10

Clara Jane is 10 months today.

-She has 2 teeth, that she likes to bite me with.

-She is a pointer! She points her finger at things and grunts. It is her way of communicating, and I love it.

-She says ni-ni when she gets tired and wants to go to sleep.

-She loves to hang up-side-down and often throws herself back so you will tip her over.

-I swear she says "pretty" when she touches her hair and looks in the mirror. I have been trying to teach it to her, and I think she is catching on.

-Her favorite toys are balls.

-If she gets upset with me, she will sit on my lap facing me and just cry and yell. It sounds like she is cussing me out sometimes. She is definitely getting the "girl" personality.

How does she do it?

I am a fan of the show Jon and Kate Plus 8. I have watched it since it first started and am amazed at the organization and energy that these two parents have. This week I have gained a whole new level of respect for Kate.

It was my turn to teach preschool. I was alone with 6 three year olds for 2 hours. Gasp!
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I have a degree in education. I taught 3rd grade for 5 years before I was blessed with my 2 kids. I thought, 'Ha, 6 three-year olds, no big deal. Piece of cake.' Oh, how wrong I was! I think there is some mathematical equation out there that proves 6 three-year olds are greater than 25 eight-year-olds. I think it might be trigonometry. I'm not sure, I only had to get through algebra for my degree.

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I had preschool on Tuesday and Thursday this week. I was looking forward to it. We were going to be learning about the letter E. I planned and plotted and decided we would use Elmo as our theme on Tuesday. I thought I had too many activities planned. Wrong again! They ate through all my plans in less than an hour and I was left to keep them occupied and well behaved for the last hour of school. I was able to pull a few tricks out of my hat to keep them entertained, but it wore me out!
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I had to post the craft we did. I made Elmo heads and let the kids stuff them and glue a face on them. Don't they look just like Elmo? Isn't it funny how things look so much better in your head!

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I was pretty happy with our snack. I made the Elmo cupcakes and found the Elmo drink boxes at The Wal Mart. (gotta love Wal-Mart!)

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When this morning rolled around, I got out of bed with a slight tinge of panic. I knew had to do it all over again. This time I made sure I had double the amount of activities. I used the story The Shoemaker and the Elves as my theme for today. It went a lot better, I used up all the time, and I did a happy dance when I sent the last kids home with their mom. When my turn rolls around in 5 more weeks, hopefully I will be even more prepared.

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I can't even imagine what it would be like to do that EVERY SINGLE DAY! Way to go, Kate! No wonder you are so skinny.

Cheap Labor

I remember when I was little (I‘m not talking size her, I am talking age), my brothers and I had chores. We didn‘t have a lot of chores, but every night when dinner came around, we knew we would be working our fingers to the bones either setting and clearing the table, washing the dishes and leaving them in the sink, or loading the dishwasher. (Come to think of it, I bet that is why my parents only had three kids. You really can‘t stretch out dinner dishes any more than that). There was never a chore chart, we were just randomly assigned the duty according to my parent's mood. Every night, no fail, my brothers and I would bicker about who was doing what until my dad came into the kitchen to break up the fight before he left for some bishopric meeting.

I always seemed to get the washing duty. I can still remember standing at the sink, staring at the white brick wall, thinking there was no other reason why my parents had us, other than cheap labor.

I have since figured out that, no, my parents didn’t just have kids so they didn’t have to do the dishes. My brothers and I were probably just as much fun to have around as Thomas and Clara are to Me and Steve. However, Thomas is entering into a new phase, one I am thrilled about. He is now old enough to wash the dishes. This morning, he moved the dining room chair to the kitchen sink and informed me that he needed to get the dishes done (he even said it in a whoa-is-me way, he must have learned that one from me). Did I stop him? NO WAY! I encouraged him! He then asked if I would put his apron on him so his favorite “Chick Magnet” shirt he wears with pride wouldn’t get wet. I quickly went around the kitchen and gathered up any dishes that needed doin’ and he scrubbed them all for me. What a great kid.

Now if I could just teach him how to sort laundry and run a vacuum I would be set.

My little rock star.

History Repeated

The excitement of a new pair of underoos has been passed from one generation to the next.

How Clara gets her way.

"Okay, Mom. I will humor you and let you take a couple pictures of me."

"I will turn on the charm for just one."

"Now you are just making me mad..."

"and extremely frustrated."

"I know I will get my way if I try this method. PLEASE, NO MORE PICTURES!"

Back when I was doin' time...

Steve usually puts Thomas to bed. He runs the gamut of night-time rituals with Thomas while I get to nurse and rock Clara to sleep. Tonight, Steve had his EQ meeting, so it was up to me to get both kids in bed.

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I had already gotten Clara to sleep and was laying in bed with Thomas reading him stories. We finished the 3 books he had chosen rather quickly, so he asked me to tell him about the night he was born. He loves this story and has me tell it to him quite often. His favorite part is when I say, "and I said AAAHHHHHHH! and you popped out!" Lucky for me, he has never asked where he popped out of.

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After I had finished telling him his birth story, he rolled over to face me and with a completely serious look on his face he said, "Mom, tell me about when you were in jail."

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It is so nice to know that my son has such high regard for me.

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Sorry I don't have a picture to post with this entry. Unfortunately, I don't have one of me wearing my striped prison uniform.

Bathroom Humor

Thomas: "Look, it's where the toilets go."

Saturday Morning With Thomas

Yesterday morning, I woke up Thomas at 5:45 and took him to the Hot Air Balloon Festival. I had read that they were going to be launching 25 balloons at 6:30 am, and thought that Thomas would love to see it. I was worried he may be a tad cranky because he is not someone who enjoys getting up before he is ready. We wasn't, he did great. I didn't even tell him where we were going until we were in the parking lot of the golf course. He was thrilled. We went and found a spot on the grass and waited, and waited, and waited some more. Finally a van pulled up right in front of us and started to set up. It was so much fun to watch the men set up everything. Thomas was mesmerized by the whole process, and I was too.

After we had been there about an hour, the announcer came across the speakers and said that they were not going to be launching any balloons due to the "high" 5 knot winds. It was okay, we still got to see this team set everything up and get the balloon ready for roped-rides.

oh ***#@!&^

This afternoon, we were at Café Rio (my nemesis). I was buckling Thomas into his car seat while he was wearing a balloon tied around his wrist. When I tried getting his arm in, I realized I was going to have to get the string untied - the knot that I made sure I tied super-duper strong so his balloon wouldn’t go flying into the air when we went outside.

Me: Oh, crap! I can’t get this balloon off.
Thomas: Mom, we don’t say crap in this family.
Me: Your right, Thomas. I am sorry, I shouldn‘t have said that.
Thomas: We don’t say crap, stupid, shut-up, or fat.

It was one of those mom moments where I had to bite back the laughter. I love his little list of no-no words he keeps on hand for moments like this. He knows he is not allowed to say these words, and 92.75% of the time he is pretty obedient about it. When he has caught Steve, me, or even Grandma Barb (just once, she's a pretty decent lady) saying one of these choice expressions, he has called us on it with extreme glee. I think he rejoices because he gets to now say the offensive remark without fear of getting reprimanded.

Oh, why can‘t he say fat? A couple of weeks ago I made the mistake of asking him if I looked pretty or fat in my dress for church. He said fat. I made a new rule right then and there; No Saying Fat. He took me seriously, so I am just going to continue letting him think it is a bad word.

My fantasy vacation arrived today.

Look what was in my mailbox today! This was that apron that Sarah made for me. I love it! She is so clever!

My fantasy vacation was to take the kids to Disneyland. I know, not really a fantasy. Let me explain...

Last year Steve and I decided to take Thomas to Disneyland for one last vacation as an only child. We were really excited to take him. We thought that 2 3/4 was the perfect age. He watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on TV every morning and he was really "into" everything Disney. We booked a suite at the Hyatt and bought 2 day park-hopper passes.

We arrived at the Hotel and Thomas saw the gold statue of Mickey in the lobby. He was beside himself and just wanted to stand and admire his buddy. That night we went to bed and around 2 am there was a LOUD buzzing noise. Both Steve and I jumped up and tried to figure out where it was coming from. The phone wasn't making the noise, it wasn't the alarm clock...it was the fire alarm, it took us a minute to figure it out. (In our defense, it was the middle of the night and I was 7 months prego, my mind wasn't working right). We threw on our clothes and grabbed Thomas in a blanket and made our way downstairs with all the other guests. By the time we made it down the MANY flights of stairs, the alarm had stopped. We made our way back upstairs, after showing Thomas the Fire Engine and trying to make the whole experience exciting rather than terrifying. The next morning we found out that someone was in the elevator smoking and it set off the alarm. Brilliant.

The next day, we made our way over to the park. Thomas was getting excited. He was thrilled to ride the Disneybus that picked us up from the Hotel to take us to the park. We entered the Magic Kingdom and decided to start off at the California Adventure Park. The first ride we went on was the Monster, Inc ride. Thomas loved the movie and we thought it would be fun to see the characters come to life. Little did I know how utterly wrong we were. We got on the ride, it was dark, and all of a sudden alarms started going off (nothing like a little alarm to re-stimulate terror). Thomas was TERRIFIED to put it mildly. We spent the whole ride trying to calm him down. After the ride ended, we got him in control and decided it was best to just walk around and see the sights. Eventually we tried to go on another ride and just started crying and trembling again. He was so afraid of the rides and would not ride anything but King Arthur's Carousel, Dumbo, Teacups and the Bugs Life kiddy rides. Never before had I seen $250 flush down the toilet so fast. We spent 2 days walking around the park just looking at things. I mentioned I was huge and pregnant, which even added to the fun.

So, my friends (and apron friends wondering why in the world I would want to go to Disneyland on a fantasy vacation). That is why I chose that destination. I want do-overs. I want to take Thomas again and give him the trip that we imagined and created in our heads. I spent my childhood going to Disneyland because my Grandpa worked there, so it was a family thing. I want him to have the same feelings I have for the park. Unfortunately, Steve has made a vow that he is not taking our kids again until the youngest is 5. I keep thinking maybe one day I will trick him into going, but he is pretty smart. I don't think it will happen.

Until then, I will just wear my Mickey apron and dream of the day when it will happen.

I might be sitting on a gold mine.

I should have posted pictures from our recent trip to SLC, but I have been too busy and have not had a chance to sit down and blog. I found this picture and was shocked to see that my son can levitate. I quickly googled levitation and found the above DVD being sold from some company back in the Midwest. I think I am going to order it and make Thomas watch it so he magnify this talent. I figure we are living in the perfect city. Maybe he can open up at one of the downtown hotels and find his following. Then after a year or so...The Mirage!