Dear Old Man at PDX who works for the TSA,

Please accept my apology on behalf of my son. He was the one who slapped your hand out of the way when you tried to approach him with the super-cool Jr. TSA Officer badge. I hope you were able to see my disbelief and disgust with this situation by the way I was standing there, frozen, with my mouth open (I know I need to work on my disciplinary actions). Please understand this is the first time that the Golden Child has acted this way to a complete stranger. He was only acting out like this because his horrible parents took him away from his Grandparent’s house after 10 days of pure bliss and he was very upset.

You’re doing a great job, keep up the great work!

Sincerely,
That little brat’s mother

P.S. The musician playing the grand piano while you go through security is a nice touch. It kept me very relaxed even though I knew we were running a bit behind for our flight.

Oh, I hate this part!

1. 10 days of laundry that will cover my family room floor until it is finished.

2. Fear of the scale until I am able to lose the extra weight gained from Burgerville Berry Shakes!

To be continued...

Things that make me laugh.

Happy Monday! Have a great week!

Grosgrain: Ice Cream Social Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!

I found this blog and LOVE it. I thought some of you mommy's may want to check out the give-away this awsome lady is doing. Grosgrain: Ice Cream Social Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!

Fourth of July

We had a very nice 4th of July. This was the first time in years that we were actually on our own and not with family or friends. Steve had to keep reassuring me that 1) people still do like us. 2) We don't smell (usually). 3) We are perfectly capable of celebrating a holiday on our own.

We all dressed alike because if you are born into this family, you are required to wear matching t-shirts on holidays or any other function where people can look at you and think..."Oh, they must love each other so much." I am all about keeping up appearances! We decided to drive out to Boulder City and watch the fireworks. We thought we would eat dinner at this little restaurant we found out there, but they had the nerve to close for the holiday. We ended up at A&W because it was either that or Jack and the Box. I figured A&W seemed a little bit more holiday-esqe. The burgers were okay, but the root-beer floats were great. After we ate we drove out to the BC airport and waited in the heat for the fireworks.

And The Winner Is........

I used random number generator to pick a winner, and the winner was Jess. I am assuming you will want an outfit for your adorable baby girl!


Here are your random numbers:24
Timestamp: 2008-07-05 15:37:40 UTC

Jess, leave a comment to let me know you have seen this.

The passion is raw, but the hot dogs are cooked!

WHY? WHY? WHY?

Seven Months!

Clara Jane is 7 months today.

Recent Accomplishments

She does the inchworm crawl.

She is really good at yoga and can do downward-dog, seriously!

She can say ma-ma.

She is starting to wave.

She still hates solid food, but I can get her to eat pears, squash, and green beans.

She loves to play with her brother.

She loves the water and has enjoyed swimming with her cousins.

She loves graham crackers and teething biscuits.

She has just started drinking from a sippy-cup.

She weighs 16lbs 10 oz, and is 26 inches long. Chunk!

She has quite the giggle!

We are so in love with her!

Honesty

I often try to be up and showered before the kids wake up. It seems like if I do de-funkify before they get up, the day goes a lot smoother. When I do shower while the kids are sleeping, I am able to actually take my time. Shoot, I might even have a moment to shave my legs if the two little ones are out cold.

Yesterday, I was showering while I thought Thomas and Clara were asleep. I was right in the middle of washing the shampoo out of my lovely hair (which by the way, I got a rockin’ new hair cut, and I am getting highlights tomorrow! No more ashy brown!) when I opened my eyes. Thomas was standing right outside the glass shower door. Now, this has happened before and each time it does, it scares the living daylights out of me. I know what my kid looks like, but you just don’t expect a pair of eyes to be staring at you through the shower door when you think you are alone. I did let out a little yell, which I felt bad for doing. What a great way to greet your child in the morning!

Me: Oh, Thomas. I didn’t know you were awake.
Thomas: Hi, Mom. You takin’ a shower?
Me: Yes (it is so hard to not be sarcastic with them)
Thomas: Well, I’m just going to go downstairs and get a Popsicle.
Me: No, Thomas. You need to eat a healthy breakfast. Popsicles are for after lunch.

He walked away.

He is so smart! He knows he has about 5 minutes to do whatever the heck he wants and there is nothing I can do about it because I am stuck in the shower. I didn’t worry too much about the Popsicles because I didn’t think we had any.

I quickly finished up, dried off, and threw some clothes on. This is what I found when I made my way downstairs.

I guess he found the next best thing. At least it was "All Natural."

Before and After

I figured I had postponed the inevitable long enough and took Thomas to get his haircut today. As his hair gets longer, he starts getting the cutest little curls. I decided I would take him today (before Daddy did) and get a cut that accentuated his curls rather than cut them off. I was quite pleased with the results.

I am not sure if he was or not, what do you think?

Just a little question.

If you know me at all, you know I am a very curious person. VERY. Here are a couple of examples of what my curiosity has gotten me in the past. 1. I once had a boyfriend once break up with me because he said I was too nosey (no skin off my back, Steve is way better than he ever was) 2. One year for Christmas, Steve gave me a Gladys Kravitz spy kit he created as a gag gift. It came complete with a sun visor that had binoculars built into it, and a pair of “spy ears." Believe it or not, they really worked. You could hear conversations going on in the next room. (Oh, how I love him, he knows me so well.) Aside from my restaurant-style waffle iron, the spy kit was one of my favorite gifts he has ever given me. So, I totally own up to the fact that I am a very “INTERESTED” person (puts a nicer spin on things, don't ya think).

Here is what has been keeping me up at night. I know the majority of people who read this blog. I have active meter and one of my favorite things to do is scope out who has been reading. I am thrilled when I attract a new reader. Even better, I feel as though I just got invited to sit at your table in the lunchroom when I see that you return to read again. If you have Google Reader, I am none the wiser if you have visited or not, but I would love to know.

So here it is people - Who the heck is reading this blog? I swore I would never send this question out into cyber space, but alas, I can not change who I am. I am just too stinking curious. I know I need to mind my own business, Steve says that to me all the time, but I just can't (Do you know how hard it is being married to the EQ president who knows ALL, but is a vault and is really good at keeping things confidential?!) So please, for the love of Pete and all his friends…Who’s out there?

Please know that your comment brings me great joy and I will by jumping up and down in my I-stay-at-home-and-don’t-always-shower-until-30-minutes-before-Steve-gets-home-pants pants. If you don’t comment, I’ll go eat a gallon of Ben and Jerry’s Brownie Batter Ice Cream, and you really don’t want to be responsible for that, do you?

Update: I'm going to add a little incentive. I love blog give-aways, so if you leave a comment I will put your name in a drawing for a pair of britches or bloomers for your child. What a deal, folks! I'll leave the drawing open until Friday night at midnight. (Wow, I feel like a professional blogger!)

Slapped In The Face By Old Age

Tonight I had to run to the nearby Beauty Shop to replenish my hair product. I was on a quick mission, so I walked in, grabbed the stuff I needed and made my way up to the check out counter. The boy working at the check out was your typical glamour boy. You know the type, good clothes, good hair, a rockin’ necklace and better skin than me and all my girlfriends. He looked to be about 18-20.

GB: Did you find everything you needed?
Me: Yes, Thanks

In the meantime, the song changes on the radio to “I Wear My Sunglasses at Night” by Corry Heart.

Both of us at the same time: Oh, I love this song (I wish I would have said, “jinx, you owe me a coke”)
Me: Oh, you like the old school music.
GB: Yes, I love this kind of music. My dad introduced me to all of it.
Me: oh, really…
GB: Well, here you go. Have a good night.
Me: Thanks, you too.

Did I hear that right? “My Dad introduced me to all that music?!” WHAT? I remember when that song came out. That means that his Dad is probably close to my age!

As I walked out of the store, I felt a wrinkle quickly find a permanent resting place on my face.

Open Letter

Dear Friends and Family,

I am writing this letter to inform you that at 9:45 p.m. on the 27th day of June, in the year 2008, the entire house was clean. Every room was clean, all at the same time. Hell froze over for a brief moment, for the cleanliness only lasted a few minutes.

If you stop by my house in the future only to find shoes, diaper bags, briefcases and dirty diapers that need to go out to the dumpster lining the entry, please step over them. If by chance you pop in and find our family room covered in toys, please know that we do have rug in there. It looks great when it has been vacuumed and all the dehydrated mac and cheese has been eradicated from it. Perhaps you are stopping by to use the facilities? They were clean, sorry you missed it. You will feel much better after you wash your hands and forget about the things you may have seen. Sometimes it works best to just block out the memory completely. If you are a really good friend and have had the opportunity to see our upstairs before, please come back over. I would like the chance to redeem myself.

I wish I could have had you all over to experience the euphoria. Maybe next time.


Sincerely,


Amy


a.k.a. The lady who really stunk yesterday because she refused to take a shower until it was all done.

Things I do instead of cleaning the house.

One of my favorite things to do is sew. I have room in the house that I have commandeered as my sewing room much to Steve's dismay. It is usually a disaster. Fabric swatches laying on the floor, thread interwoven into the carpet and pins hap-hazardly thrown about. I have recently joined a couple of sewing blogs and I love to surf around and see what the other ladies are up to. I figured I needed to post a few of my recent projects, too. I am always in the middle of making some sort of dress for Clara, and I also have quite a few aprons I am working on for swaps. I will post those as I finish them.

I love the orange flower dress, but unfortunately it was too big for Clara by the time I finished it. I made it according to the pattern, but for some reason it turned out way too big. I didn't finish hemming it because I figure it will fit her next summer and I can hem it according to her height then.

Clara had the cutest little backside when she wore the hippy pants. I bought a pattern for these britches and bloomers a few months ago and made several outfits for baby showers I was attending, but never got around to making a pair for Clara. I finally made her these and she was only able to wear them 1-2 times before it got too hot. Hopefully it will be cool enough to wear them when we go up North to see Steve's family.

I absolutely fell in love with the blue dot fabric. I found it at my favorite fabric boutique and could strangle myself for not buying more. They are completely sold out now and I want more! This dress is a little big for her, but I made her wear it anyways.

The flowered dress was the inspiration for the blue dress that I made. My friend, Cathy, saw some of my clothes at a baby shower and said that they reminded her of Mini-Boden. She forwarded me a link and I fell in love with this flowered dress. I figured I could find a pattern and make it myself. I did find a pattern that was similar, but I got it home and realized it was a size 4-5-6. Way to big for my baby! I had given up until I found an outfit made by Carters at Costco. It was just a little balloon onsie, but it had the neckline I wanted. I bought the jumper and brought it home. I studied it and figured out how to make the neckline one my own. I then used the pillow-case-dress tutorial to make the body of the dress. I think it turned out great for not having a pattern. I picked the fabric because I love Amy Bulter's line and I fell in love with the blues in this dress.

This was my most recent baby shower bundle. I made it for my friend Jamie (sorry, she's private) and her little baby boy who will be born pretty soon. The "Giddy-Up" thing on the bottom was a burpie. I think everything turned out really cute.

I am going to be opening a store on Etsy to sell the baby bundles. I will also be selling everything as individual items, too. I will add a link as soon as I am up and running.

Is the grass really greener?

Like every mother, I had dreams of my child being potty trained. I saw images of him running around in little underoos with one butt-cheek hanging out the side. I also saw myself telling all the other moms at playgroup how easy it was to train him and that I was willing to give free advice on the issue. I was mentally spending the $40.00 we would squander on a case of diapers each time we purchased them at Costco. Then, reality would strike. I would find myself purchasing yet another case of diapers while swearing under my breath.

I was very liberal with the whole toilet issue. I didn’t push it, I made it seem like I couldn’t care less if he used the toilet or a diaper. I guess I was trying reverse psychology. I let him have his little toilet in the family room and in his room, just in case the mood struck him and he needed a quick outlet. I even let him run around buck naked while we were home alone. I took the potty training road that many mothers would turn up their noses at. Nobody should be asking me advice on potty training, and as a result of the no-pants policy, I am not ashamed to admit that I may now be raising a nudist.

Well, after approximately 1,545 diapers, many of which I will never be the same after changing, and subsequent to many days of pretending not to care, he is finally (trumpets please) potty trained. I can officially call him trained because for the past few days, when he has worn a Pull-Up in public he has kept it dry. I am thrilled!

I think…

I guess I have traded in messy diapers for a messy bathroom. This is our downstairs bathroom. Yes, the one you would use if you came over to visit. Thomas has “marked his territory,” literally and figuratively speaking. For frustrations sake, I have made the picture into a diagram so you can see every detail I now have to deal with.

1. You can’t see it in the picture, but there is blue soap all over the counter top. I purchased the soap so Thomas would think washing his hands is fun. He seems to be having a little too much fun with the soap.

2. The bathroom mirror looks like my minivan’s windshield after a Las Vegas rain.

3. You can’t see it in the picture, but there is blue hand soap all over the toilet seat.

4. If you have boys, I don’t think I need to explain what this number is marking.

5. His step stool is always in the way. No matter where you move it, you can count on tripping over it while you are in there.

6. A comb, just in case he needs to comb his hair while doing his business? Sometimes I just don’t ask.

7. One of Clara’s baby washcloths. I have not picked it up so I am not sure what I will find it was used for.

8. The Pull-Up he wore to bed still inside his pajama pants.

9. Both of our “decorative” towels on the floor. I didn’t know it took two yards of terry cloth to dry off two tiny hands.

I just keep telling myself how much better a dirty bathroom is than dirty diapers. And you can bet your pants that while I clean that bathroom I will be planning how I am going to spend the $40.00 we would have spent on diapers!