Is the grass really greener?

Like every mother, I had dreams of my child being potty trained. I saw images of him running around in little underoos with one butt-cheek hanging out the side. I also saw myself telling all the other moms at playgroup how easy it was to train him and that I was willing to give free advice on the issue. I was mentally spending the $40.00 we would squander on a case of diapers each time we purchased them at Costco. Then, reality would strike. I would find myself purchasing yet another case of diapers while swearing under my breath.

I was very liberal with the whole toilet issue. I didn’t push it, I made it seem like I couldn’t care less if he used the toilet or a diaper. I guess I was trying reverse psychology. I let him have his little toilet in the family room and in his room, just in case the mood struck him and he needed a quick outlet. I even let him run around buck naked while we were home alone. I took the potty training road that many mothers would turn up their noses at. Nobody should be asking me advice on potty training, and as a result of the no-pants policy, I am not ashamed to admit that I may now be raising a nudist.

Well, after approximately 1,545 diapers, many of which I will never be the same after changing, and subsequent to many days of pretending not to care, he is finally (trumpets please) potty trained. I can officially call him trained because for the past few days, when he has worn a Pull-Up in public he has kept it dry. I am thrilled!

I think…

I guess I have traded in messy diapers for a messy bathroom. This is our downstairs bathroom. Yes, the one you would use if you came over to visit. Thomas has “marked his territory,” literally and figuratively speaking. For frustrations sake, I have made the picture into a diagram so you can see every detail I now have to deal with.

1. You can’t see it in the picture, but there is blue soap all over the counter top. I purchased the soap so Thomas would think washing his hands is fun. He seems to be having a little too much fun with the soap.

2. The bathroom mirror looks like my minivan’s windshield after a Las Vegas rain.

3. You can’t see it in the picture, but there is blue hand soap all over the toilet seat.

4. If you have boys, I don’t think I need to explain what this number is marking.

5. His step stool is always in the way. No matter where you move it, you can count on tripping over it while you are in there.

6. A comb, just in case he needs to comb his hair while doing his business? Sometimes I just don’t ask.

7. One of Clara’s baby washcloths. I have not picked it up so I am not sure what I will find it was used for.

8. The Pull-Up he wore to bed still inside his pajama pants.

9. Both of our “decorative” towels on the floor. I didn’t know it took two yards of terry cloth to dry off two tiny hands.

I just keep telling myself how much better a dirty bathroom is than dirty diapers. And you can bet your pants that while I clean that bathroom I will be planning how I am going to spend the $40.00 we would have spent on diapers!