Confessions of a Mormon Mom

I am a pretty good person. I am honest, I don’t speed, and I follow 99.9% of the rules society has established. I wish I could say I don’t swear, but every once and a while I have to let one slip so people won‘t think I’m perfect.

This brings me to the reason why I am writing this post. Last Wednesday, I took something that didn’t belong to me. What makes it even worse, I did it on the grounds of the St. George Temple. To top that off, I did it in front of my son.

Here is my confession:

We made a quick little stop in St. George on Wednesday. We went over to the Temple and spent about an hour there. I nursed Clara while Steve and Thomas walked around the grounds. After I had finished exposing my boob, we were all sitting in a little courtyard talking. About 10 feet away from us we saw a silver and red can on the ground. Steve said to Thomas, “Go over and get that can, we need to make sure we leave the Temple grounds cleaner than we found them.” Thomas was more than willing to obey. He ran over and picked up the bottle and started for the trash. He was walking toward us when I noticed that it wasn’t a soda can, it was a bottle of CHI Silk Infusion. I asked him to hand it to me and he did. Wouldn’t you know, it was practically new.
Me: Holy crap, this thing is full!
Steve: You’re not going to take it, are you?
Me: Why not? We were going to throw it away.

We all started to walk out the gate and Thomas about had a melt down.

Thomas: Mom, you have to throw that away!
Me: It’s okay Thomas, we are just going to take it.
Thomas: Mom! I want you to throw it away!

I pretended to throw it away to try and appease him, but quickly pulled a move that I learned from David Copperfield and hid it under my armpit.

Fast forward a couple of days.

Friday, I was getting ready and I decided to give the stuff a try. Thomas walked into the bathroom and saw the bottle on the counter and about bit my head off. How could I have brought that stuff into our home!? I quickly changed the subject and handed him a huge chocolate bar and a new pony. He hasn’t brought up the goods again.

To be honest, I was a little apprehensive to use it. What if it was a plant from some terrorist and when I opened it, ricen powder would come pouring out? Or worse, what if some teenage girl filled it with Nair and upon application all my hair would fall out? I decided to take a chance and give it a try.

Let me tell you how great the stuff is. It really does make my hair feel like silk and I love it! I feel a little rebellious when I use it. It kind of makes me feel like I need to strap on some chaps, jump on a Harley and knock over a bank. I will try to refrain, after all, I do have an image I need to uphold.

If you are reading this and happened to misplace your bottle of CHI, please consider this my apology for taking it. But you know what they say…finders keeper, losers weepers.