Happy Birthday!

Last night we took ol’ Gramps down to Roxy’s, A fifties Diner in the Stratosphere, to celebrate his birthday. I know what you are thinking, 1. Our Family is way too classy to be hanging out down at the Stratosphere. 2. Wow, they lived to tell about it!

We had a blast at this little burger joint. The food was okay, but the homemade potato chips were incredible. I would have stuffed all the leftovers in the diaper bag, but I restrained myself from doing so.

Here are a few highlights from the evening. Sorry about the red tint to everything. It's just one of the hazards of living in Las Vegas!

No, we don't give Clara dead rats to chew on, it is a pickle and she LOVED it. I think I am going to start carrying a jar in my diaper bag because it kept her entertained for a good 30 minutes.

Highpoint of the evening: The restaurant has singing waiters and a disc jokey to keep the party going. Believe it or not, the singers were actually pretty good. This guy was the DJ, he came over to the table to wish Grandpa Chuck a happy birthday and have everyone sing to him. Then he took it a step further, he put on the old song "The Name Game" for everyone to sing to him. The joke didn't go over as well as he had planned. However, I was secretly giggling to myself because I have a very demented sense of humor and it brought back memories of my friends and I singing that song with names that would eventually make us swear.

All up in your business.

Every Boy Needs A Good Guy

About 6 months ago, Thomas started asking for “A Guy.” I didn’t quite understand what he was meaning, but eventually I figured out he needed a guy to play with when he plays with his cars and trucks.

So, I did what any other mom would do. I used the guy as an excuse to get out of the house. I went to Target and walked up and down the toy isles looking for the perfect guy. Do you know how hard it is to find a normal looking guy these days? I couldn’t find any guys without guns, knives, slime, or some strange contraption that you strap on them to make them look like a bug. I could have picked one of the little tiny ones with above average muscle mass, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. They were just too strange looking. I settled on a guy that came with a motorcycle. He looked semi-normal and seemed like he would serve the purpose I needed him to. Thomas was thrilled and played with him for several weeks, until the cheap thing broke.

A few days later, he was in the garage with Steve and found an old Tonka Ambulance. Steve had purchased years ago, hoping to be able to give it to his son sometime in the future. He pulled it off the shelf and gave it to Thomas. He was THRILLED! Not only was it a great vintage truck, it came with the perfect guy…a lady.

On one of the first few days that we had her, I walked into Thomas' room to get him up for the day. As he was waking up, he asked me where the lady was. I wasn’t even thinking about his new lady-guy. The first thought I had was, “Which one of our dead relatives is visiting my son during the night.” I asked him what she looked like expecting to hear him give a description of my Grandma Helen. He then said that she was the little one with the yellow shirt. Phew! I’m not sure I want my son seeing dead people!

So, yes. My son’s favorite “guy” is an androgynous looking lady who doesn’t own a pair of pants. She is a pretty versatile toy in our house. We know where she is at all times. She has become one of us and we love her, naked heinie and all!

These are some of her daily activities:

We consider her to be Clara's first Barbie Doll. We figure she doesn't know any better. Better yet, she won't grow up thinking she has to have wear a size -4, have fake boobs, or bleach blond hair.

She is really good at driving the other toys around in the motor home. Usually she is hauling around full load of Disney Character figures and the occasional wooden block, paper clip, empty toilet paper roll (a.k.a. telescope), or anything else Thomas may find of interest that day.

Occasionally, she returns to her roots and serves as the patient on those days we play "Emergency."

I'm Nuts About it!

While you are all moaning and complaining about the price of gas, and the way the airlines are fee-ing everything thing like crazy, I am jumping for joy! I just got off the phone with US Air, and all I can say is...I LOVE YOU!

We are going to be making our annual summer voyage to the Pacific Northwest to see Steve's Family. We have been researching prices, figuring out days, and trying to get some kind of schedule pinned down. I got online this morning to look up airline prices once again, just to see if they had gone up. However, when I look up prices, I have to do more than look at the dollar amount. I start searching the site for the fine print. What are their policies accommodating peanut allergies? This morning, I was on the US Air website and this is what I found:

Peanut allergies
US Airways recognizes that some of our passengers are allergic to peanut products. However, due to last-minute aircraft changes and the possibility that other passengers may bring peanuts onboard, we cannot guarantee that no peanut products will be onboard.Because we cannot accommodate "peanut-free" snack requests and the possibility that peanut-related ingredients may be contained in meals, we encourage passengers to bring their own food items onboard the flight.

Underneath that it said, if you have any questions, please call the disability team. I saw the number and decided I had some time, so I would give it a try.

(Last year when I tried to call someone for help, I ended up talking to a guy who couldn't speak English and kept reading the same paragraph posted on the internet when I asked him to explain the policy further. I hate outsourcing!)

I figured I would be put on hold and transferred several times, but I'll do anything for my son's safety and to ease my mind. Would you believe the phone didn't even ring once before I had someone on the line helping me with my questions! I even asked if it was really US Air when she answered the phone because it happened so quickly. I asked if she was on the Disability Team and she even said...YES! What the heck! A live person, who speaks English! It's my lucky day. I asked her my question and she quickly responded:

"WE DON'T SERVE ANYTHING ON BOARD ANYMORE! "

I know, you are probably thinking...how cheap. I'm thinking, I could reach through the phone and kiss you! You have no idea what kind of burden she just lifted. They actually stopped serving peanuts and will only serve pretzels or biscotti on long flights.

This is what it is like to take a flight with a child who has nut allergies.

1. Get an early flight, that way the plane has been recently cleaned.

2. Request early boarding so you can Clorox each seat, the trays, the window. Get down and look for any stray food that may have fallen during the last flight.

3. Cover the seat with a sheet or blanket.

4. Have your Epi-pen, benadryl, nebulizer, and inhaler under your seat. (This is after having to take everything out of the meds bag at security and have them inspect it all by hand instead of x-ray.)

5. Explain to the flight attendants that he is allergic, and that we will not be accepting any snacks.

6. Spend the whole flight watching his every move, making sure he doesn't touch something that hasn't been cleaned.

I will not have to do that on this trip. I am so thrilled. I will still clean the seats and be cautious, but the worry and concern has dropped considerably. I have just seen the silver lining on this whole economic downfall we are in, and it made my day!

Master of the Flirt

Today I babysat a friend's Granddaughter. She was 2 years old and ADORABLE! What was even more interesting, I had the unique privilege of watching my son try and pick up a girl.

10 Flirting Tips By Thomas
All have been used and proven successful.

1. Pretend like you are not happy at all that there is a little girl at your house. Turn your head, refuse to look at her. While nobody is watching, take a couple of glances.

2. While she is sitting in the club chair enjoying a nice sippy-cup of milk, slowly walk over and sit by her. Even if the chair is plenty big for both of you, just sit on the arm of the chair and show her, without being too obvious, your remarkable balancing skills.

3. When you get the feeling that she might be interested in you, get down and get in the chair with her. Ask her if she would like to join you for breakfast and keep her company while your wonderful, talented, mother whips up some Mickey Mouse Pancakes for the two of you. As an added bonus, ask your mother to lay out the towel on the ottoman so the two of you can enjoy a nice romantic breakfast by the light of the TV showing Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

4. While eating, reach over with your smelly, syrup soaked hands and rub them through her long blond hair while telling her "You sure do have pretty hair."

5. Take your spork and run it through your hair, just like Danny Zuko in Grease.

6. After breakfast, ask her if she would like to see your cars - that's right, I said cars, because real men own more than 1!

7. When there is a pause in the conversation, tell her that she has a really nice shirt.

8. When the right time approaches, ask your mother if she can spend the night. After all, you have known this girl for 2 hours. Tell her that there is plenty of room in your bed and you will even share your pillow! Try not to cry in front of her when your Mother tells you, "I don't think so."

9. After using the potty, come out of the restroom and announce to her that you have just gone pee. If she is really into you, she will reply,"Good Job."

10. Try not to over react when her grandmother comes to pick her up and take her home.

Be sure to look for Thomas' dating book, "It's Never To Early: A Toddler In Love"

Travesty

This, my friends, is the reason why there is no such thing as a Donald Duck Pancake.

A Girl Can Never Be Too Prepared

Sunday Night Sins

I love to bake, so once a week I will indulge and make cookies, or something else for us. I usually do it on Monday nights for FHE, but since I couldn't go to church today (Thomas has Fifths Disease - just a bad rash, nothing serious) I made something this afternoon. Thomas had asked for cupcakes, so I decided I would make banana cupcakes. I could say that mine were kind of healthy, but they were not. This was the first time I made them and they turned out really good. Next time I am going to try making them using the "healthy" ingredients.

Banana Cupcakes
1/2 cup shortening (If you wanted to be really good, use applesauce instead of shortening)
1 1/2 cups sugar (You could even do 1 cup because of the bananas, I will next time)
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup mashed ripe bananas
1/4 cup buttermilk
2 cups all-purpose flour (Healthy: use 1 white 1 whole-wheat white flour)
1 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

Frosting (Healthier: Instead of frosting them, drizzle them with icing)
1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened
2 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
3 tablespoons milk

1tsp vanilla

Directions:
In a large mixing bowl, cream shortening and sugar. Add the eggs, vanilla, bananas and buttermilk. Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt; add to banana mixture. Fill 18 paper-lined muffin cups two-thirds full.

Bake at 350 degrees F for 15-20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Remove to wire racks to cool completely. In a small mixing bowl, cream the butter, sugar and enough milk to achieve desired spreading consistency. Frost cupcakes. I added chocolate jimmies to the top because I was feeling rather sassy.

This is your brain on kids.

I am losing it! What might I mean by “it?’ My brain. The past few weeks, months…okay, since Clara was born, I have been so out of it. I have heard of Pregnancy Brain and Mommy Brain, but when does it start coming back? Yesterday, I Googled Pregnancy Brain and actually read something about your brain shrinking 3-5% while you are pregnant. It takes up to 6 months for it to return to it’s normal size. If that is true, mine should be returning to maximum capacity anytime. I’m still waiting.

The stupidest thing I have done lately.

I left the house without shoes on yesterday! Luckily, I realized it after I walked down the front steps. You would think I would have realized I didn’t have shoes on as I was grabbing my purse and heading out the front door. Nope, didn't think anything of it.

What's next?

Family Photos

Back in January, a friend of Steve's asked us if he could shoot a few pictures of Clara. He is a photographer and needed some shots of a newborn. I was fine with it and asked if he would mind shooting some family pictures as well. He is an amazing photographer! Unfortunately, he had to move 2 weeks after the shoot, so we had to wait on the picts. Yesterday, the FedEx man dropped them at our house and I was so excited to check them out. I sat forever and poured over all 600+ shots. He took some amazing pictures of us, but my favorite ones were the unexpected shots that he got when we didn't realize he was still shooting, or when we were goofing off.

These are just a few of my favorite ones. I wanted to post them for the out-of-town family to see.

Photos by Clint Karlsen

Everyone's a Comedian

Last night, Steve was gone and I was getting Thomas into bed. He had already gotten up a few times using the normal stall tactics, and had been sent back to bed after each one. First it was hunger, then thirst, then monsters. He was finally in bed and I was downstairs nursing Clara.

Thomas (yelling from his room) : Mom, Knock Knock
Me: Thomas, go to bed
Thomas: Mom, Knock Knock
Me: Who’s there?
Thomas: I’ve been working on the railroad.

He doesn’t really get how to deliver the whole joke, only the punch line.

Me: Okay, Thomas, It’s time to go to bed
Thomas: Mom
Me: What?
Thomas: Knock Knock
Me: No more knock knock jokes, go to bed.

Pause

Thomas: Mom
Me: What?
Thomas: Ding Dong

Six Months Old

Our little Clara Jane is 6 months old today!

She can sit up.

She can scoot around the floor pretty darn fast.

She is starting to do more "jibber jabber" now.

She LOVES her big brother and doesn't pay attention to anyone else when he is around.

She likes to blow raspberries.

She is very social and smiles at anyone who will look at her.

She is getting more and more red hair every day and is always telling me to put it in piggies.

She is taking longer naps during the day and not just little cat naps.

She has thighs the size of Texas!

She loves her Daddy.

She is such a great baby and such a wonderful addition to our family.

Who would have ever thought a little girl could be so much fun!

Anticipation...

"Oh, I'm so excited! I finally get to eat "solid" food."

"Okay, I'm not quite sure about this..."

"Do you really expect me to swallow this stuff?"

"There is no way that is happening!"

"I'll just put on my brave face and try to look cute. Maybe next time they will give me bananas."

Confessions of a Mormon Mom

I am a pretty good person. I am honest, I don’t speed, and I follow 99.9% of the rules society has established. I wish I could say I don’t swear, but every once and a while I have to let one slip so people won‘t think I’m perfect.

This brings me to the reason why I am writing this post. Last Wednesday, I took something that didn’t belong to me. What makes it even worse, I did it on the grounds of the St. George Temple. To top that off, I did it in front of my son.

Here is my confession:

We made a quick little stop in St. George on Wednesday. We went over to the Temple and spent about an hour there. I nursed Clara while Steve and Thomas walked around the grounds. After I had finished exposing my boob, we were all sitting in a little courtyard talking. About 10 feet away from us we saw a silver and red can on the ground. Steve said to Thomas, “Go over and get that can, we need to make sure we leave the Temple grounds cleaner than we found them.” Thomas was more than willing to obey. He ran over and picked up the bottle and started for the trash. He was walking toward us when I noticed that it wasn’t a soda can, it was a bottle of CHI Silk Infusion. I asked him to hand it to me and he did. Wouldn’t you know, it was practically new.
Me: Holy crap, this thing is full!
Steve: You’re not going to take it, are you?
Me: Why not? We were going to throw it away.

We all started to walk out the gate and Thomas about had a melt down.

Thomas: Mom, you have to throw that away!
Me: It’s okay Thomas, we are just going to take it.
Thomas: Mom! I want you to throw it away!

I pretended to throw it away to try and appease him, but quickly pulled a move that I learned from David Copperfield and hid it under my armpit.

Fast forward a couple of days.

Friday, I was getting ready and I decided to give the stuff a try. Thomas walked into the bathroom and saw the bottle on the counter and about bit my head off. How could I have brought that stuff into our home!? I quickly changed the subject and handed him a huge chocolate bar and a new pony. He hasn’t brought up the goods again.

To be honest, I was a little apprehensive to use it. What if it was a plant from some terrorist and when I opened it, ricen powder would come pouring out? Or worse, what if some teenage girl filled it with Nair and upon application all my hair would fall out? I decided to take a chance and give it a try.

Let me tell you how great the stuff is. It really does make my hair feel like silk and I love it! I feel a little rebellious when I use it. It kind of makes me feel like I need to strap on some chaps, jump on a Harley and knock over a bank. I will try to refrain, after all, I do have an image I need to uphold.

If you are reading this and happened to misplace your bottle of CHI, please consider this my apology for taking it. But you know what they say…finders keeper, losers weepers.

Kid Logic

Thomas wanted to eat an ice cream sandwich this afternoon. I told him that before he ate one, he was going to have to eat something healthy, so I gave him a bowl of Shredded Wheat. He ate about half of it…

Thomas: Mom, I’m full
Me: Oh, I guess you don’t want an ice cream sandwich.
Thomas: No, I do.
Me; Then you need to eat a couple more nuggets.
Thomas: But, I’m full.
Me: Well if there is no room for more Shredded Wheat in your tummy, then there is no room for an ice cream sandwich.

Long pause

Thomas: But there is room in my hand.

Here is my question: How do you keep a straight face and not give in?